what do i know?

i have a friend who just turned eighty-eight, 

and she just shared with me that she's afraid of dying. 

i sit here years from her experience and try to bring her comfort. 

i try to bring her comfort, 

but what do I know? 

what do i know?

she grew up singing about the glory land, 

and she would testify how jesus changed her life. 

it was easy to have faith when she was thirty-four, 

but now her friends are dying, and death is at her door.

 oh, and what do i know? really, what do i know?

 i don't know that there are harps in heaven, 

or the process for earning your wings. 

i don't know of bright lights at the ends of tunnels, 

or any of those things. 

she lost her husband after sixty years, 

and as he slipped away she still had things to say. 

death can be so inconvenient. 

you try to live and love. 

it comes and interrupts. 

and what do i know? 

what do i know? 

 i know to be absent from this body is to be present with the lord, 

and from what i know of him, that must be pretty good...

song by sara groves.

late 20's angst.

being in my "late 20's" in the roaring 20's seems much, much more fabulous. i mean, look at her. the hat. the pearls. the sultry look of a chic bad ass. the lace. the lips. it all looks so... fabulous. me, i do not feel fabulous in my "late 20's." i don't know why, but i just don't. i feel my body changing, redistributing, tireding. i think to myself, i just don't want to get old. i want to be 20. and fabulous. forever. 

juxtaposed to my brother. this is him on his 32nd birthday, riding around on his bike, in a "crown" made by my nieces, his sweet, loving daughters. he hasn't gotten "old" yet, obviously. i mean, he still plays video games, farts a lot, and thinks star wars is the greatest anything ever created. this is why i love him. 

 

it's no "roaring 20's fabulousness," but it's real and it's fun and it's surely not OLD.