Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
doll study research w/ commentary.
Anderson Cooper 360: Blog Archive - UPDATED: AC360 Series: Doll study research � - CNN.com Blogs
this story continued throughout the week every night on anderson cooper. the next night, john legend commentated on his personal experiences with race, and his thoughts on the "doll study" outcomes. i will share with you some interesting points he made.
first, he said that recently he was driving around a predominantly white, affluent neighborhood trying to find a social at a friend's house. he was driving slow, of course, because he couldn't find the house, and someone approached his car to question his intentions of being in "their" neighborhood. basically, they told him they didn't want any trouble "around here" and for him to leave. little did they know they were speaking to john legend. dummies. ok, john legend didn't say, oh, i'm john legend, i'm not going to rob you. he found the friend's house, and told them what had happened. in 2010, black people are still being stopped in white neighborhoods out of suspicion of "trouble," and apparently being from hollywood doesn't count you out of being a victim of it. where are we to go from here? can we go anywhere but up? because it seems things can't get much worse without going back to slavery or segregation which absolutely will not happen on my watch.
they tell us in race studies that children actually don't know they are different from each other until a "defining moment" happens that tells them they are different- positively or negatively. for example, "my mommy says we can't play together any more because you're black/white." what's going on this child's head at this point? ummm, what?? i'm black? i'm white? we're different? why? what is "different" and why does that mean we can't play together? a million questions. and questioning is not all together bad. it is encouraged, in fact, that parents talk to their children about race. this "talk" however brings up the next great point john legend makes. he says that it is not invariably the best idea to teach "color-blindness" to our children. why, you might ask, would it not be the best idea (though an ok one) to teach that we're all the same? because we're not. and everyone is beautiful in their own way, and these ways- color, race, religion, sexual preference- is what makes us who we are. how are children supposed to start finding "who they are" if we tell them we're all the same?? this would defeat the purpose of the soul search, right?
if you watch the videos, it is saddening that the white kids point at the black kids and say they're "bad" because they're the blackest, and the black kids point at the white kids and say they're the prettiest because they're white. who came up with this crap?? white people are the prettiest?? who ever set that standard? and it's not even statistically correct that black people are "more bad" because there are more white males in prisons than blacks. so what gives? well, look around. the so-called "prettiest" women on television, and in hollywood, are white, right? furthermore, the so-called "prettiest" black women have westernized themselves with longer, "frizz-free" hair, and tend to have more western features. this may seem complicated, but our children are obviously NOT oblivious nor naive. they see it. they know. and, worse, they're personalizing it to themselves. tell your children they're beautiful. tell them we are different. and that's ok.
this story continued throughout the week every night on anderson cooper. the next night, john legend commentated on his personal experiences with race, and his thoughts on the "doll study" outcomes. i will share with you some interesting points he made.
first, he said that recently he was driving around a predominantly white, affluent neighborhood trying to find a social at a friend's house. he was driving slow, of course, because he couldn't find the house, and someone approached his car to question his intentions of being in "their" neighborhood. basically, they told him they didn't want any trouble "around here" and for him to leave. little did they know they were speaking to john legend. dummies. ok, john legend didn't say, oh, i'm john legend, i'm not going to rob you. he found the friend's house, and told them what had happened. in 2010, black people are still being stopped in white neighborhoods out of suspicion of "trouble," and apparently being from hollywood doesn't count you out of being a victim of it. where are we to go from here? can we go anywhere but up? because it seems things can't get much worse without going back to slavery or segregation which absolutely will not happen on my watch.
they tell us in race studies that children actually don't know they are different from each other until a "defining moment" happens that tells them they are different- positively or negatively. for example, "my mommy says we can't play together any more because you're black/white." what's going on this child's head at this point? ummm, what?? i'm black? i'm white? we're different? why? what is "different" and why does that mean we can't play together? a million questions. and questioning is not all together bad. it is encouraged, in fact, that parents talk to their children about race. this "talk" however brings up the next great point john legend makes. he says that it is not invariably the best idea to teach "color-blindness" to our children. why, you might ask, would it not be the best idea (though an ok one) to teach that we're all the same? because we're not. and everyone is beautiful in their own way, and these ways- color, race, religion, sexual preference- is what makes us who we are. how are children supposed to start finding "who they are" if we tell them we're all the same?? this would defeat the purpose of the soul search, right?
if you watch the videos, it is saddening that the white kids point at the black kids and say they're "bad" because they're the blackest, and the black kids point at the white kids and say they're the prettiest because they're white. who came up with this crap?? white people are the prettiest?? who ever set that standard? and it's not even statistically correct that black people are "more bad" because there are more white males in prisons than blacks. so what gives? well, look around. the so-called "prettiest" women on television, and in hollywood, are white, right? furthermore, the so-called "prettiest" black women have westernized themselves with longer, "frizz-free" hair, and tend to have more western features. this may seem complicated, but our children are obviously NOT oblivious nor naive. they see it. they know. and, worse, they're personalizing it to themselves. tell your children they're beautiful. tell them we are different. and that's ok.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
texas schools board rewrites US history.
OUTRAGEOUS!!! grrrrr.
"There is also a suggestion that the anti-communist witch-hunt by Senator Joseph McCarthy in the 1950s may have been justified.
The education board has dropped references to the slave trade in favour of calling it the more innocuous "Atlantic triangular trade", and recasts the Israeli-Palestinian conflict as driven by Islamic fundamentalism."
Sunday, May 16, 2010
mum's the word.
a little late on this one.
i've been thinking a lot lately about moms. granted mother's day just came and went, we sent cards, flowers, cooked dinner, whatever your form of celebration may be. i had a very different take on mother's day in many ways. as i get older, i'm finding more and more that holidays actually become harder as time goes on because life takes a toll in good and bad ways, leaving memories, loses, and gains in its wake.
as a child, i thought like a child, i acted as a child. i believed that life would be one happy christmas, easter, birthday after another, and, in reality, i doesn't always turn out this way. i lost my pop on march 2. as i think on this, i realized my mother no longer has parents. parents. the two (or one) (or more) person(s) you can always turn to no matter how mean you've been or how much you've screwed up or what kind of fight you've been in. parents. the unconditional love. when you lose that you lose a part of you, i've been told. i recently had a friend tell me that next to losing a child, she believes a mother is the hardest to lose. she and her sister lost their mother not long ago to cancer, and her birthday happens to fall the week after mother's day. tough, tough stuff. unimaginable pain. pat lost his grandmother in november to cancer, and his mother, her mother, and his great-grandmother, her daughter. happy mother's day? psh, absolutely not.
i can remember on my pop's documentary about growing up in an orphanage, that he tears in saying that no one was there for him at his high school graduation. no mom. no dad. no family. i always told myself after seeing this film that if i could go back in time, i would be there, at that graduation, and i would stand for my pop. you see, there is something in the heart that comfort us, even in our darkness, by saying, you may feel alone now, but you know there is always someone there. i cannot imagine not having that peace. not knowing who in the world in standing for you. my heart goes out, in all sincerity, with peace and healing to you all on this day and always.
i can remember on my pop's documentary about growing up in an orphanage, that he tears in saying that no one was there for him at his high school graduation. no mom. no dad. no family. i always told myself after seeing this film that if i could go back in time, i would be there, at that graduation, and i would stand for my pop. you see, there is something in the heart that comfort us, even in our darkness, by saying, you may feel alone now, but you know there is always someone there. i cannot imagine not having that peace. not knowing who in the world in standing for you. my heart goes out, in all sincerity, with peace and healing to you all on this day and always.
to others i know, this is their first mother's day or mothers'-to-be day. this is where, i believe, the tables can turn. you see, no matter what your relationship with your own family, parents, etc. or whether or not they are still with you, all rights and wrongs can be made right by the way in which you leave a legacy to your own children. i shared this with a friend that is grieving her mother this mother's day. be a good mom, i told her. that's what you can do for her, for your daughter, for your kids. pass on her wisdom. pass on her love. be a mother. instill in your children how to be good people. i have another inspiring friend that, instead of presents for her kids' birthdays, the guests bring donations for a charity, such as heifer international, to help feed other children around the world. what an amazing legacy! at 2, 3, 4 years old these children are learning to give back, to live up, to take care (or "mother," if you will) kids other than themselves. this is where a greater world begins.
i know some of this i cannot understand because i am not a mother myself, nor have i lost a mother, but i do believe i am starting to understand that innate sense of responsibility and protection of those i love that we should all have within us (except for the sociopathic folks, sorry guys/gals). for example, i have a strong feeling of responsibility to taking care of patrick. he is my husband. that is what you do for those you love. i work. i pay bills. i encourage him in his dreams. i (attempt) to feed his endless pit of a stomach. i love him. i care for him. i believe in him. to me, these are just things instinctively you do and feel for people you love. you sacrifice. you compromise. you protect. you fight for. you love. i love that this motherly instinct is coming out in me because it shows me that i am learning more about love itself. you see, love is something we constantly learn and relearn and grow to learn our entire lives.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
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